


On the Diffusion of Oil and Water

by bcbdrums



Series: The Ambassador & His Wife [4]
Category: Star Trek: The Original Series
Genre: Drama & Romance, Emotional Baggage, F/M, Gen, Romance, Tags Are Hard, Young Love, help me tag
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-08-05
Updated: 2018-08-07
Packaged: 2019-06-22 02:52:22
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 12,537
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15572082
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bcbdrums/pseuds/bcbdrums
Summary: He extended two fingers across the table toward her and waited.She stared back at him, her expression incredulous.  It was clear to him that she had not expected him to saythat.He felt his heart rate increasing as the silence grew between them.  And still he waited.  If she wouldn’t…“Amanda…”And then her expression changed.  Solemn, unreadable.  The one she used when masking her emotions.She began reaching her two fingers toward his.  “Of course I—”“No,” he interrupted, drawing his hand back slightly.  Her mask shattered, leaving confusion and fear behind.  “You must mean it.  You must…wantto.”Their hands hovered inches apart over the candle that illuminated the table.  But Sarek barely noticed the heat from the flame as his eyes bored into hers.“I…” she said quietly, “I love you.”“I do not understand love," he said.  "It may not be enough.”





	1. Immiscibility

**Author's Note:**

> A/N: This is a DIRECT SEQUEL to "The Logical Thing" and "The Human Thing." You must read those to follow along with this. There are also mentions of events and characters from "A New Beginning," so it wouldn't hurt to read that one too.
> 
> I wrote this to help with my writer's block on "A New Beginning." I have the ending and the biggest parts of that fic plotted, but I hit a snag with one of my numerous subplots. So I decided to jump back to the newlyweds for awhile.
> 
> I'm going to publish this fic in three large chapters instead of a bunch of little ones like I originally planned. So there will be funny little breaks and POV changes in this chapter. Whatever. ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
> 
> So here now, for your enjoyment, the problems of interspecies marriage. :P I must warn you, I think my writing begins horribly in this. I hope the story still comes through.

 

 

Beneath dark, rain-laden clouds the Sausalito wind blew fierce.  It swirled around a couple standing close on the balcony of a high-rise, its cold powerless against the heat of their embrace.

Amanda’s fingers dug into the soft plush of her new husband’s robe as she clung to him.  Her heart pounded as she felt his hands slide up her back, his fingers entwining in her hair.

Sensations she had only just been awakened to flooded her body again, when suddenly his lips left hers.

Her desire was to pull him to her, to feel the power of him again when he had made her his.

Instead, she opened her eyes.

He had already taken a small step back, allowing the cold wind to pass between them.  His fingers slowly left her hair and came to rest atop her shoulders.

She looked up into his face and saw something new in his eyes.

Confusion.

She didn’t move.  She didn’t dare speak.  Because she understood.

He was vulcan.  And she was human.

And after mere hours of being his wife she had gone too far.

So she waited.

* * *

Sarek hadn’t started counting the seconds until he realized that they were both holding their breath.

He found the action illogical and without explanation, so he slowly began breathing again as he looked into her eyes.  He felt her frame relax under his hands a few moments later, but noted that her body still seemed to be on guard.

As was his.

Her expression was solemn and patient, but there was something behind her eyes that he could not read.

He realized then that it was always there.  Whenever she appeared her most stoic and logical, there was an emotion masked deep within her viridian eyes.  He had simply never noticed it before that moment.

Had he not been paying enough attention to miss that this most rational of humans was merely excellent at masking her emotions?

It was the most logical explanation.

He wanted to know what it meant.  He wanted to reach into her thoughts and discover it.

He lifted his hands so they hovered just above her shoulders.  He had promised never to read her mind without her permission, and the natural inclination to do so while touching her was strong.

An illogical anxiety accompanied each thought of potential actions he may take in that moment, including the ones he refused to give full presence to.

He blinked several times as he determinedly blocked out all thoughts except the one he decided was most honest.

“What are you thinking?” he asked, his hands still hovering above her shoulders.

Amanda looked surprised by the question.

“I…was wondering what you were thinking,” she replied.

Sarek blinked again.  He didn’t want to acknowledge the ideas that kept entering his mind.  Because they were not only illogical, but completely inexplicable.  A remnant of the _pon farr_ , he decided, allowing just that much of the thoughts to return.  Thoughts far too personal for a vulcan to share.

“I find my thoughts to be a mystery,” he finally said, hoping it was honest enough and that she wouldn’t ask further.  He really needed to meditate.

He took another step back and folded his hands in front of him.

Amanda stepped back and looked down, her fingers fidgeting.

“I require meditation.”

She glanced up.  “I…um, would you like some tea?”

Sarek inclined his head slightly.  “Yes.”

They looked at one another for another moment, before she turned to go back inside and Sarek followed her.

The tea service still contained the preparations from his morning meditation.  Sarek paused in his reach for a pillow as Amanda began pouring the cold, wasted beverage into the sink.

He was struck suddenly by the selfishness of his choice and turned immediately toward his bedchamber.  He would shower and dress and see to Amanda’s needs before returning to his routine.  

Amanda was his wife.

The statement should have gravity, yet it seemed completely unreal.  

Having entered the lavatory, Sarek reset the shower to sonic function and banished his illogical thoughts.  Whatever he ‘felt’ or didn’t feel did not change facts.

He had made Amanda his wife.  

As the sound waves cleaned his skin he looked out the window at the darkening clouds over the bay, a perfect visual metaphor for the confusion he couldn’t deny he was experiencing.  

A gust of wind slammed heavily into the glass, and then suddenly a single and worrying thought broke through the storm in his mind.

He had no idea how to be married.

* * *

Sarek returned to his sitting room to find a fresh pot of tea steaming on the table, his meditation lamp beside it, and one of the pink cushions waiting for him on the floor.  Amanda sat on the other cushion opposite, already sipping from a teacup held in both hands.

As he joined her she looked up, her expression uncertain.

“Thank you,” he said when he was seated.

She blinked in surprise.

“You’re welcome,” she replied as she poured his tea.

“It is not necessary that I meditate immediately.  We can dine, or move your belongings first if you so desire.”

Her brow furrowed in a way that made Sarek feel inexplicably more at ease.  He decided it must be the familiarity.

“Actually, I would like to try to meditate,” she said slowly.

Sarek had not expected that.  “Have any of your previous attempts been productive?”

“I don’t think so.”

Sarek sipped his tea and settled himself on the cushion.  His only experience in guiding someone through meditation had been his previous unsuccessful attempts with Amanda.  But it was common knowledge that guiding others aided in one’s own success.

“Then we shall start from the beginning,” he said.

“Wait,” she furrowed her brow again, “will teaching me make it more difficult for you?”

Sarek’s brow rose.  Were she vulcan, as his wife she would have read the opposite in his mind and had assurance of the process for them both.

But she was human.

“Sarek?”

“No.  It will not.  Now, concentrate on the flame.”

* * *

Amanda couldn’t see his light.

Every time Sarek had tried to teach her vulcan meditation he began with the light.  But she could never envision it filling her lungs nor see it behind her eyes without knowing it was a forced, unnatural image.  And each failed attempt left her surrounded by a drifting darkness, clouding her thoughts more than when she began.

So this time she did not try, and let whatever images come as did so naturally.

At first, the familiar cloudiness consumed her.  But she refused to give in to it and followed Sarek’s instructions.

After a few minutes, his methodical explanation stopped as he himself surrendered to the process.  Amanda didn’t open her eyes to peek at him as she had done in the past, but kept breathing slowly and evenly, determined to succeed.

And then like the sun burning fog from the bay, the darkness began to clear.  Light began to creep through, still blocked by the haze but bright and insistent like so many sunrises she had seen growing up.

It wasn’t gentle, but neither was it harsh.  It simply was.  And while she knew it wasn’t what Sarek was expecting of her, she considered it progress.

So she gave in and let her thoughts drift as she knew she was supposed to.

Several minutes of peace passed.

And then her focus was completely shattered, her eyes flying open from the shock of the realization she had just had.

She blinked, the sight of the room around her unfamiliar for a moment.

“You have lost focus,” Sarek stated simply.

Amanda swallowed anxiously.  “I have to tell my parents.”

Sarek’s eyes opened.

Amanda knew that he could follow the thread of her thinking based on that statement alone.  Her parents had never been comfortable with her friendship with Sarek, and only tolerated it due to her insistence that it was just that.  And because of the logic, which she explained to them, that a sixty-something aged vulcan was not interested in a teenaged human for more than her mind.

She had felt comfortable speaking for Sarek in that regard, because everyone knew that vulcans rejected emotion.  But her insistence about her own feelings had gradually become lies that were easier to tell the less time she spent with her parents.  After nearly four years, they had finally believed her.

But now…

“They…aren’t going to like this.”

She looked up at Sarek, who appeared to be contemplating.  And for the second time that day his face betrayed confusion.

Finally, he spoke.  “I do not know of a logical way to proceed that will yield a satisfactory result.”

Amanda was tempted to roll her eyes and laugh all at once.  Clearly, the meditation hadn’t helped.

“Neither do I.”

“Then, perhaps,” Sarek said, blowing out the candle and reaching for his tea again, “we should give the matter more thought.  And attend to other needs for the present.”

Amanda pursed her lips.  She had heard him, but the thought of telling her parents had given rise to other thoughts.  _Everyone_ would find out sooner or later.

“Has…a vulcan ever married a human before?”

Sarek set his cup down and folded his hands.  “Not to my knowledge.”

Her brow furrowed.  “Is this…going to be a problem?”

She expected a denial, or a vulcan quip against human emotions.  But Sarek was silent.

Her heart began to pound as she looked up into his ever-impassive face.  What was he thinking?

Then he lifted his hand and extended two fingers over the table, through the drifting smoke of the extinguished candle.

She lifted her hand and made gentle contact with her own two fingers, her eyes never leaving his.

“Our marriage is of no consequence to anyone.”

_Marriage…_

His fingers moved to caress the back of her hand.  She swallowed down the lump in her throat and measured her breathing until the threat of tears had gone.

“Then…let’s get on with it,” she said a bit shakily.  “We can move my things first.”

Sarek’s fingers stilled and he stared at her, his expression unreadable.  _What was he thinking?_

“Very well,” he said, and rose.

* * *

Amanda rushed through her apartment, packing her things.  She kept telling herself there was no reason to hurry, and yet she couldn’t make herself slow down.

A chime at the door startled her and too loudly she called, “Come.”

The door slid open to reveal Soran with a large hover-trolly.

“I can begin moving the containers you have packed,” he said simply.

“Oh, I…okay.  Thank you,” she said, rubbing a hand across her forehead.

Soran lifted an eyebrow.  “My lady, you seem distressed.”

She logged the appellation of _‘my lady’_ in the mental category she had created for ‘things to ask Sarek about protocol’ and waved off his concern with a smile.

“I’m just in a hurry,” she said, turning back to the container she had been stacking old paper books into.

“For what reason?”

She straightened again, staring at the wall.

“I don’t know…”

“Unless you have a pressing need to unpack, I can think of no logical reason for your haste.  There is more than enough space in your new quarters for all of your belongings, and aside from your dinner reservations this evening the ambassador has nothing else on his schedule.  Unless you have scheduled something without him.”

“No!” she said incredulously, turning back around to face him.  “I mean…well, no.  I guess…there is no logical reason to hurry,” she concluded, forcing herself to slow down.

Soran lifted a single eyebrow and then wordlessly began carrying the packed containers through the door and onto the trolly.

Glancing after him, Amanda suddenly realized the reason for her haste.

She was worried someone would see her moving, and start asking questions.  And she didn’t know how to answer without Sarek.

_Yes, I’m moving.  Well, to my husband’s suite.  Yes, we eloped today.  No, we were married here.  Who is my husband?  Um…_

The idea of word spreading, especially to her parents, without her being in control of it was very worrying.

When she and Sarek had first begun spending time together openly the gossip had been heavy on both sides, though it was much more logical on the vulcan end.  It had died down of course, but had never fully gone away.  Every now and then her father would send her a news article that mentioned ‘Ambassador Sarek of Vulcan and his human companion’ as a way of warning her to stay away from him.  

The press had already concluded they were together, which didn’t really matter to either of them.  It was Sarek’s reputation among those who actually mattered that had always bothered her.  Would his peers now think less of him for having married outside his species?

And then there were her parents, who just couldn’t see things except through a human lens.  They couldn’t see Sarek as anything but an old man trying to take advantage of their little girl.  Even after years of proving himself to be nothing but honorable, the warning was always unspoken on the edge of her mother’s tongue and loudly spoken on her father’s.

They would not take the news of a spontaneous marriage well.  Especially not if she told them why.

Nevermind that she was in love with Sarek.

She closed the last container and carried it into the hall to set on the trolly, peering both ways as she stepped through the door.  But the corridor was empty except for her and Sarek’s faithful aide.

“I just have one more I think, but I can carry it with me.”

“Very well,” Soran said.  “The ambassador asked me to suggest to you that I process the forms regarding the end of your lease, should you desire it.”

“Oh.  All right.  Thank you,” she said.  She hadn’t even thought of the ‘paperwork’ she would have to do to move out.

“My lady,” Soran acknowledged with a nod and turned to guide the hover-trolly down the hall. 

Amanda went back inside and looked around at the small, now-bare room.  It still contained the standard dark-gray furniture, similar to the cabin of a starship.  It was extremely spartan in its aesthetic just like the apartment she used to share with her parents in the compound, designed for function over form.

How illogical that Sarek’s suite was nothing at all like this.

She packed the last container of loose items and sealed it, glancing one more time at the small room she had called home for the last two years.

Tears again threatened to fall down her cheeks.

_“Not of joy or sorrow?”_

_“Simple human anxiety.”_

She had explained it once to Sarek, and he had surprised her greatly with his response.

_He lifted a finger to her cheek to catch the single tear that had fallen._

_Her surprise was enough to halt the rest and she looked at him quizzically._

_“Aren’t you going to say it’s illogical?”_

_“That one should accede to a natural biological response that alleviates anxiety?  No.  It would be illogical to resist.”_

It was one of the many things that had struck her about him when they were getting to know each other.  She had lived her entire life surrounded by vulcans and yet none had ever responded to her humanity the way Sarek did.  She supposed that was the beginning of her interest in him as more than a friend.

But in the end, love wasn’t logical.

She let two tears slide down her cheeks before wiping them with her sleeve.  Crying may be logical, but she didn’t want to answer the questions it could invite if she were seen teary-eyed in the halls of the compound.

“Lights off,” she said to the computer.  And leaving the apartment, she locked the door for the last time.

* * *

“Amanda,” Sarek said.

She turned to look up at him from behind her fidgeting hands, held before her lips while her elbows rested on the table.  She sat hunched forward in a manner that Sarek knew well, but was very unlike her while in public.

“You will achieve the opposite of your intentions if you continue to sit like that.”

Startled, she lifted her head and really looked at him.

“What?”

“Your posture betrays your anxiety.  People will take note.”

Slowly, Amanda straightened in her chair and sat back.  But she put her wrists on the table now and let her hands fidget independently of one another.

The fine dining restaurant on the embassy’s ground floor was well-populated that evening, but not crowded.  Sarek frequented the place in the course of his duties, and as always the species diversity in the patrons was great.

He had brought Amanda there only once before socially, but she had not been as nervous that time.

“Do you think anyone knows?” she said just above a whisper.

“How would anyone know by looking at us?”

She blushed and glanced down again before sipping from her water.

Sarek observed her another moment before trying to analyze her thoughts.

“You believe it is important whether or not people know we are married.”

She narrowed her eyes in confusion.  “Yes.”

“Why?”

Her brows knitted further.  “I don’t know.”

“Will our public lifestyles be altered in any way?”

“Um…”  Her frame relaxed further and she finally set her hands in her lap.  “I don’t think so.”

Sarek turned slightly as he heard their server—a human—approach with their meals.  He had only ever seen human employees in the restaurant and wondered if the cooks were human as well.  If so they were to be complimented, as the vulcan meals he had eaten there were expertly prepared.

“I think it’s just a human thing,” she finally said, taking a bite of her risotto.

“If announcing our marriage is a tradition you wish to follow, I have no objection.”

She looked puzzled again, and Sarek watched her closely as he sampled the asparagus on his plate.  He had become fairly adept over the years at reading her thoughts based on her mannerisms, but she still surprised him frequently.  Especially when she purposely concealed her emotions, as she often did.

He knew she was analyzing her own thoughts now, trying to understand her own motivations.  But despite knowing that he had the strangest feeling it wasn’t enough.

He had been preoccupied by the desire to touch her mind ever since that morning when she had been frightened by the one instance he had done so.

That particular reaction had also been weighing on his mind, as he had never known her to be afraid before.  

Logically, he should ask her about it.  But the restaurant was the wrong place for such a conversation.

“I suppose it doesn’t matter,” she said between bites, still appearing confused.

“As you wish,” he replied.

They ate for several minutes in silence, and Sarek watched Amanda’s expression change like ocean waves from calm to anxious and back again with the passing of each minute.  This time he couldn’t interpret their meaning.

He thought for a moment how useful a mental bond would be between them, but quickly banished the thought.  She was human, therefore it was likely impossible.  And were it possible she would not be able to share the benefits as she was not telepathic.  To attempt to form one with her would be selfish.

He thought again of touching her mind, but banished that thought as well.  She had made her desires clear in that regard even though he did not yet understand her reasons.

“Amanda, what is troubling you?” he finally asked.

She looked at him uncertainly for a moment, but then her expression cleared.

He illogically felt something within him relax as well.  But he ignored it and focused on her, waiting for her to speak.

“What do I need to know about being a vulcan wife?”

Sarek blinked, feeling a tension he had previously been unaware of return.  And now faced with it he could not ignore the thought.

He did not know the answer to her question anymore than he knew how to be a husband.

“Please, specify,” he said in reply, turning his gaze to his meal.

“I mean…are there any protocols I’ll have to learn, or things I’ll be expected to do?”

Suddenly he was thrown in memory back to a cave on vulcan.  Visions of green blood in russet sand took presence in his mind, followed by illogical arguments in ShirKahr.  Embarrassing questions and hopeless denials came back to him, and he shook his head slightly to clear away the memories.

“You will accompany me to all social gatherings in my official capacity.  And you will join me in all of my travels,” he said, not looking up from his vegetables.  That at least was an easy and honest answer.

“Oh.  What else?”

He looked up.  That tension he didn’t want to acknowledge was growing.

“You must obey me.  At all times.”

He was not surprised to see her eyes widen in astonishment.  He also knew that the tension he felt had shown itself in his voice and posture, and he forced himself to relax.  But he needed her to answer.

He extended two fingers across the table toward her and waited.

She stared back at him, her expression incredulous.  It was clear to him that she had not expected him to say that.

He felt his heart rate increasing as the silence grew between them.  And still he waited.  _If she wouldn’t…_

Fear.  A quite...logical fear took residence in his mind.  He had felt it before, and so he knew it by name now as it filled the silence between them.

“Amanda…”

And then her expression changed.  Solemn, unreadable.  The one she used when masking her emotions.

She began reaching her two fingers toward his.  “Of course I—”

“No,” he interrupted, drawing his hand back slightly.  Her mask shattered leaving confusion and fear behind.  “You must mean it.  You must…want to.”

Their hands hovered inches apart over the candle that illuminated their table.  But Sarek barely noticed the heat from the flame as his eyes bored into hers.

She looked more confused than ever, and Sarek wished again for a telepathic bond between them.  It would be so much easier that way.  He didn’t know if he had the strength to speak of his tormented past.  But to place such a demand on a human logically required that he explain his personal reasons for doing so, aside from those of vulcan tradition.

“I…” she said quietly, “I love you.”

“I do not understand love.  It may not be enough.”

Another voice, light and musical, sounded then from close by and above.

“Ambassador?” it said.

Sarek and Amanda both started and turned toward the speaker.  It was Arsa, aide to her father Consul Vanak.  She was looking at their two hands, still hovering over the table.

Sarek turned back to Amanda who suddenly looked very scared.  He reached beyond the candle’s heat until his two fingers met hers, lifting their hands higher so the voluminous sleeve of his robe wouldn't touch the small flame.  Amanda's eyes flew back to his.

“Good evening, madam,” Sarek greeted the other vulcan, any evidence of emotion completely absent from his voice and bearing.

Arsa’s eyes were still on their fingers, now joined.

“You have married,” she said, turning her gaze toward him.

“Yes.”  

She turned to face Amanda.

“You have met my wife—”

“When?” Arsa interrupted.

“What?” Sarek asked, perplexed by her lack of manners.

“When did you marry?”

“This morning.”

“My father and I were not made aware, or we would have been in attendance.”

Sarek sensed Amanda’s embarrassment through their touch, and glanced at her to see her face flushing human-red.

“It was a private ceremony.  Only my aide was in attendance.”

“I see,” Arsa said.  She looked at their hands again before focusing on Sarek and giving a respectful bow.

“Live long and prosper,” she said.

“Peace and long life,” he replied automatically.

Arsa turned and Sarek watched as she quickly departed the restaurant.  Her behavior, even her approach and interruption of their meal, was highly unusual.  But she had always been so from the time they were first acquainted.  He wondered why.

“She likes you,” Amanda said.

Sarek turned back to her with brows knitted.

“What?”

“She likes you.  She… _she_ wanted to marry you.”

Sarek blinked.  “Explain your logic.”

Amanda laughed lightly, but without humor or joy.  Sarek felt his tension returning.

“It isn’t logical, it’s emotional.  She wanted you.”

Sarek’s brow furrowed again.  “I do not understand.”

Amanda moved her hand until all her fingers were entwined with his and their palms touching.

“Apparently vulcan women and human women have some things in common,” she said with a strange smile that did not reach her eyes.

Sarek felt her worry through their touch.  Then realizing he was breaking his word he quickly released her hand.

She gasped slightly, and he saw the too-familiar sad confusion in her viridian eyes.

“The instinct to read your thoughts when we touch is strong,” he explained.  “Forgive me.”

Gradually, her expression cleared.  He was relieved to finally see something in her eyes akin to her usual serenity and repose.

“I understand,” she said, the corners of her mouth turning up slightly.

Sarek had picked up his fork, but set it down to reach his index and middle finger across the table again.

Amanda appeared surprised, but did not hesitate this time in joining their fingertips.

“You need not concern yourself about announcing our marriage.”

“Why not?” she asked.

“We have done so,” he said, indicating their fingers with a glance.

He watched as Amanda’s eyes left his and began scanning the room.  He felt a slight anxiety through their touch, but didn’t reach for the feeling this time.  Human emotions were so entwined with their thoughts that he would likely sense some of them each time they touched.  Surely she would understand that if he explained it.

“People are looking at us,” she whispered.

“Indeed.  I suggest we finish our meal and retire before we receive more interruptions.”

He felt a slight rise in her anxiety and then separated their fingers.  He wondered how much of his own tension was a result of touching her.

It suddenly occurred to him that with her emotions so pronounced, he would constantly be subject to their influence.  It would likely affect his own emotional control.

The thought was very disquieting.  He had experienced far too much lack of control in his life as things were.  The idea of it being continual was…

“Are you all right?” Amanda asked.

Sarek wondered if his face had shown emotion then, and his concern grew.

“Yes,” he said distractedly, and returned to his asparagus.

She was his wife.  And he _needed_ her to be with him, always.  He could take no chances.  But having a wife…meant touching her.

His innate desire to know her mind was now in conflict with his very logical concern about overexposure to her emotions.  He supposed he should view it as an opportunity to strengthen his control and his logic.  But counterintuitive past experiences would not permit that thought to have dominance in his mind.

“If…you’re not all right, you can tell me,” she said softly.

He glanced briefly at her worried expression before fixing his gaze on his meal, concerned that he would somehow betray himself.

“I will,” he lied.

 

 

 


	2. Phase Boundary

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: BOOM! Giant chapter-the-second. Lots of inspiration for the newlyweds. Of course, I've been kicking this around in my head for years. It's about time I wrote it down, really.
> 
> This fic should rightly be six to eight chapters long, but...I feel like cramming it into three. :P
> 
> Now if only I could get over my writer's block for the other fic...
> 
> A reminder that this is strictly TOS canon-based. I've not seen any DIS.
> 
> ALSO - I have updated the rating to "mature." I know, y'all think I'm nuts. This isn't what the 'net calls mature. But, I care about young minds. Personal experience taught me, I should have clicked away. So under 18s, click right on out of here!

 

 

Sarek leaned uncharacteristically close to his computer monitor in an effort to focus.  He was attempting to review the proposed changes to the Federation’s interplanetary immigration policy but his concentration was lacking.

He could hear Amanda moving about the suite arranging the remainder of her belongings.  But she was so quiet in doing so that he only noticed if he listened for her specifically.

Logically, that was not the source of his distraction.

After several more minutes of reading over the same paragraphs without absorbing the content he switched the monitor off.  He left the desk and turned toward the corner where his meditation lamp and pillows still lay from that afternoon.

Meditation would restore his focus.

He briefly thought of going up to the room he had appropriated near the observation lounge where he and Amanda had been married that morning.  But since he knew that something about being married was the source of his distraction, that room may in fact increase the problem.

He stepped over to the window next to the balcony doors and settled in on the pillow.

“Sarek?” Amanda’s voice sounded from across the room as he lit his lamp.

“Yes?” he said, turning toward her.

“At dinner you said I would need to go with you to official functions.  Will I…need to wear anything in particular?”

Sarek was impressed by her foresight.  “Yes.  I shall have Soran arrange for our travel to vulcan at the first convenience.   And,” he added, “you must provide him with your schedule until an aide is appointed for you.”

“Oh.”  Her brow furrowed.  “Do I…have to have an aide?”

Sarek opened his mouth to say ‘no’ but stopped as he realized he wasn’t sure of the answer.  He did not know if it was required, only that he knew of no other ambassador whose wife did not have an aide.

“I am uncertain.”

She looked surprised.  Sarek realized then that he knew just as little about the professional side of marriage as the personal side.

“I apologize.  I have no experience in this area.  I shall learn what is necessary tomorrow,” he said, turning back to face the lamp.

He focused on the small flame, pushing all other thoughts out of his mind.

“I don’t understand.”

He looked over at Amanda again, who had stepped closer and was now standing behind the large sofa.

“What do you not understand?”

“What do you mean about not having experience?  You were married before.”

Sarek blinked at her and then slowly turned to face the flame again.  But his gaze was unfocused this time.

What could he say?  How could he put his greatest failure into words, let alone in a way that she would understand?

He picked up the lamp, and standing he blew out the flame.

“I need to meditate,” he said, gathering the pillow and heading toward the door.  The darkness of the observation lounge and the measurable purity of the constellations he would see through the windows would be useful to the process.

He had reached the door when Amanda’s voice stopped him again.

“Sarek, I’m sorry.  I didn’t…I didn’t mean to offend you.”

He glanced back into her troubled eyes.  “You have not.”

He wanted to say more, enough to explain that what by law had been called a marriage had never resembled one as society would view it.  But he could not say even that.  There was no way to talk about T’Rea without telling all of it.

But that was impossible.

He turned and left.

* * *

Amanda had tried studying for her classes, but couldn’t focus.  She tried researching the education policy changes, but that caused her to worry about how people would react to her and Sarek being married.

She tried reading a novel, but gave up after only five minutes of complete distraction.

Finally, she accessed the vulcan public database and looked up marriage and found nothing except a single line essentially stating that vulcans do, in fact, marry.

She left the PADD on the sofa and rearranged her belongings around the suite for the third time that day and then got the tea service ready for the next morning as she knew Sarek would want it.

Then she looked at the chronometer.

Sarek had been gone for over an hour, and it was nearing the time when she usually went to bed.  Her first class wasn’t until late morning, but she figured she may have trouble sleeping that night.  So _logically_ , she thought with a hint of amusement, she should try to go to bed early.

But were there protocols on how married vulcans went to bed at night?

She wrung her hands and grunted in frustration before taking up the PADD again and going into the bedroom.

She was making far too much of this.  She could not offend Sarek if she only behaved logically.  And logically, she should get ready for bed.

So she did, following her usual routine as if nothing was different.  As if she wasn’t about to sleep in a foreign bed.  As if it wasn’t her first night as a married woman.

A shiver of anxiety passed through her as she sat on the bed, now clad in her pajamas.  She leaned back against the headboard and on the PADD entered a search in the global net for vulcan marriages.

A number of news articles were instantly delivered to her, and she opened the first one readily.  It had been written by a human who had chanced to witness a vulcan wedding on a starship.  But it provided no useful information, just a comparison between the vulcan ceremony and common human ceremonies.

Glancing through the list of other articles she found that all had been written by humans and were nothing but puff pieces.  None contained any information about how vulcan mates interacted with one another, except a mention of the two-finger touch that Sarek had already employed with her.

She thought for a moment and then entered a new search topic:  vulcan affairs.

This time she received a list of articles from cheap tabloids—a human tradition that would not seem to die—along with the titles of several trashy romance novels.  

She ignored the latter and started looking at the titles from the tabloids.  They were all written for shock-value and had lascivious tag lines.  She read through the first article on the list and found depressingly that the writer was making fun of a vulcan new to earth who had accidentally walked into a burlesque show.

She wondered when, if ever, media culture would build up diversity rather than belittle it.

She idly glanced through another dozen headlines until one caught her eye.

_‘Vulcan ambassador attends high school prom.’_

She opened the article and began reading.  Somehow she had missed this one back when the incident had occurred.  Probably because the fallout from the event had been so traumatizing that she hadn’t looked for what every cheap publication was saying.

Surprisingly, the article had all of the facts correct and was extremely well-written.  It identified her and Sarek, discussed who they were, and had a few eye-witness quotes.  What it didn’t do was go into wild speculation as everyone else had done at the time.

She remembered that event as the beginning of the problem with her parents.  Looking back now, she understood why.  Even though she and Sarek had never been ‘a couple’ in human terms—in fact, they had never been a couple until that morning—humans, especially her parents, just couldn’t see that their relationship was a friendship.

She closed the article and began a new search, this time for Sarek specifically.

She scrolled through dozens of headlines that talked of new laws, negotiations, and treaties he was involved in.  Business as always when it came to vulcans.  There was nothing new to her there.

She went back and added her name to the search, and to her surprise a number of headlines appeared.

_‘Vulcan ambassador sighted with human date at Monterey Bay Aquarium.’_

_‘Ambassador Sarek of Vulcan attends Andorian Celebration with human companion.’_

_‘Vulcan ambassador shows preference for humans.’_

Amanda furrowed her brow and opened the last article.  Reading through she found it contained a list of several times she and Sarek had been together socially in public.  The author speculated on their relationship as well as whether or not something was wrong with a vulcan who preferred humans.

She turned the PADD off and set it on the nightstand next to the bed.

Sarek had always told her that gossip could not harm them.  Their association was logical and eventually both vulcans and humans would accept it.  It would be illogical not to do so, as their friendship was an embodiment of IDIC.

She had agreed with him then.  But now that they were married it would give people permission to say that the rumors had been true all along.

What did people _really_ think?  She couldn't bear the thought of his career suffering because of her.

In the next room Amanda heard the door slide open and realized Sarek must be back.  Suddenly self-conscious, she adjusted her posture so she was sitting up completely and picked up the PADD again.

A minute later, Sarek entered with a curiously raised brow.

“Do you usually retire at this hour?” he asked, his gaze wandering over her pink pajamas.

“I…try to keep a consistent schedule,” she said.

He crossed the room to his closet and began undressing.  Amanda’s heart started beating faster.

“Logical,” he commented.  “I typically do not retire until 2300, however I will take the precaution of additional sleep tonight.”

She knew he was referring to his body chemistry without explicitly saying so.  Of course, she understood why.  

She set the PADD down and began fidgeting, alternating between rubbing her thumbs over her fingers and clenching her fists as she watched him.  Should she look away, or not?  Did he expect her to know what to do?

“Was…your meditation productive?”

He seemed to hesitate.  She had learned to read the distraction in his eyes a long time ago, but he wasn’t facing her now.

“Yes,” he said.

She let her eyes wander over the room as he put his pajamas on.  She noticed for the first time the obvious combination of vulcan and human design in the architecture and layout of the room, just like the rest of the suite.  Someone had worked hard to make it comfortable for vulcans.

“If I recall correctly,” he said, climbing beneath the blankets and laying down, “your first class tomorrow is at 1030 hours?”

Amanda had been sitting on top of the blankets and climbed under them when he did.

“Yes.  If I’m able to sleep I’ll probably get up early.”

Sarek was laying supine and turned his face toward her.  “Do you anticipate difficulty sleeping?”

She settled down on her back, matching his position, and turned her head to look at him.

“I’m not sure.”  She furrowed her brow as she thought of how to explain.  “With all of the change today…I don’t know how my mind and body will react.”

The familiar distraction entered Sarek’s eyes.

He turned away and stared up at the ceiling.  “I find myself facing those unknowns as well.”

She blinked in surprise and watched as he folded his hands across his chest.

“Lights,” he said, and the room was suddenly black.

Amanda turned and looked toward the ceiling, though she couldn’t see anything.  Instead she focused on what she felt.

Unlike that morning, there was now a large gap between them on the bed, almost big enough for another person.  The distance felt as great as when they sat across from each other having tea.

That morning he had seemed reluctant to let go of her.  Now he seemed content to ignore her.

_“Once, every seven years…”_

She mentally reviewed his words from that morning, explaining why it was life or death that he be married.  The life-threatening chemical changes that ripped away vulcan logic occurred once every seven years and had only one natural and satisfactory resolution.

But did that mean…?

Tears began filling her eyes, but she determinedly kept her breathing even.  They could talk about this.

Maybe.

He had been deathly embarrassed to talk about it at all that morning.  Would he even let her bring it up?

“Amanda?”

His voice startled her.  “Yes?” she said.

She heard him turn his head toward her in the dark.  “Something is troubling you?”

“I…yes.  How did you know?”

He paused.  “I can hear you crying.”

“Oh.”  Vulcan hearing, she realized.

“What is it?”

She couldn’t talk to him about this without seeing him.

“Can you turn the lights on?  Please?”

“Lights to twenty percent,” he said.  “Tomorrow we will program your voice commands.”

She turned to look into his dark eyes.  His expression was expectant.

She swallowed anxiously.  She had no idea how to bring up the subject.

“What is wrong?” he asked again.

“I…” she began, her voice suddenly trembling.  “Um.”

She looked past him at the wall next to his closet.  Her tears had stilled as she was overwhelmed again with the weight of what had happened that day.

In the morning she had woken up expecting a day just like any other.  But then within a few hours she was married to the man she loved—something she had decided long ago was impossible.  And now she was lying in his bed.  She would attend school the next day, but when she came home it would be to his suite.  Things were the same, and yet completely different.

“I just…need to know how to be a vulcan wife,” she finally said, turning on her side to face him completely.

He looked distracted again.  It was beginning to annoy her.  Though she knew, _logically_ , it was her own stress that was causing such a feeling.

Sarek didn’t reply immediately, and this time it was him who looked away at the wall behind her.

“What specifically do you believe you require?” he said slowly, looking back to her.

She frowned.  It wasn’t like him to be condescending.  But she ignored it.

“Am I…supposed to attend you in any specific ways?  Are there specific routines I need to follow?  Am I supposed to make your breakfast?” she said, her voice rising in pitch at the end.

He lifted a single eyebrow.  She took a deep breath.  She couldn’t lose control in front of him.

He turned his body to face her.  “Nothing about your daily life will change, except that which I have already stated.  You will accompany me to official and social functions when spouses are expected to attend.  That is all.”

 _And obey…_   She remembered the other part of what he had mentioned at dinner earlier.  She had forgotten it in the moment because of that vulcan woman’s interruption, who was so obviously interested in him.

“You said earlier that I have to obey you.”

“Yes,” he replied, suddenly looking uncertain.  His eyes had the same intensity as before but this time, since she wasn’t surprised by it, she noticed his worry.

She furrowed her brow and studied the edge of the blanket.  What did obey mean?  Since vulcans were logical in every way…it could only have logical application.

She looked back at him and realized he was holding his breath.

“Is that what vulcan wives do?”

“Yes,” he said.

“Okay,” she agreed.  

He released his breath and didn’t completely disguise it.

“Sarek…why is that important?”

He blinked, then rolled away so he was facing the ceiling again.

She closed her eyes tightly.  Wrong question.

“It…is not easy to explain in relevant context.”

She looked at him.

“But if you wish, I shall attempt to do so.”

He was holding his breath again.  Her compassion quickly overrode her curiosity.

“Maybe tomorrow.”

He visibly relaxed and turned back toward her.

“Um,” she said, her thoughts returning to the initial reason she had asked for the lights up.

She looked at him.  His expression had returned to its usual calm and patience.

She took a deep breath.  “Um.  This morning, after we…I mean...”

He looked away quickly, and she saw his jaw tense up.

She didn’t know what to say.

“I…”

“Amanda.”

He looked back at her.

She took a deep breath and spoke in a rush.  “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to embarrass you.  I was just wondering…if…”

“I regret,” he said, “that circumstances have left me unprepared to be a husband.”

Her lips parted and her brow furrowed.  “What?”

He sighed.  “It was illogical to assume this would be easy.  Please forgive any difficulty I have already caused you.”

She was confused.  Slowly, she shook her head.  “You haven’t.”

“I focused my meditation this evening on the topic which presents the first…incongruity,” he continued.  “Vulcan spouses touch one another frequently.”

Amanda felt her nerves relaxing and shifted to begin closing the gap between them.  That was...a surprising piece of information.  But she was still confused.

“Why is that a problem?”

“I have identified two primary issues.  They rest in the fact that you are human and I am vulcan.”  

She waited while he seemed to search for the correct words.

“There were various instances of physical contact between us today.  At each occurrence I received…an impression of your emotions, telepathically.  The impressions I received were involuntary.”

Amanda processed that.  “So…each time we touch, you know what I’m feeling?  And you can’t stop it?”

“That remains to be known.  There is no research on telepathic or empathic communication between humans and vulcans.  However, two concerns arise from this uncertainty.”

“What are they?”

“This morning you seemed to indicate that you did not want me reading your thoughts.  While what I experienced was much more vague, it is still an intrusion of your privacy.”

Amanda’s eyes widened as she finally understood what had had him so distracted all day.  He only wanted to honor her wishes, which meant all the more now that she knew touch was common between vulcan spouses.

“Do you think it’s because I’m human?”

“Undoubtedly.  Vulcans are able to shield their thoughts and emotions from one another even when in physical contact.”

She moved closer to him again, the gap between them now very small.

“I was just startled this morning,” she said gently.  Her next words caused her to blush before she spoke them.  “I…do want you to touch me.  I don’t mind if you know what I’m thinking.”

“There is still the other matter.”

Her smile faded.  “What is it?”

Sarek glanced away.  “My mental shields that provide protection from emotional intrusion do not seem as secure as usual.  It could be...a remnant of the _pon farr_.  If so, then the situation will resolve itself naturally with meditation.”

“But…?” she said, her heart beating faster in concern.

“I do not recall a similar difficulty after my previous…times.”

Amanda looked away.  She hadn’t thought much about the fact that Sarek had been married before, but now she wondered.  What had his life been like with his first wife?

“However, those times cannot be compared to today.”

“Because I’m not vulcan?” she said, trying to mask the sadness she had begun to feel.

He lifted a single eyebrow.  “There are many variables.”

Amanda began fidgeting with the edge of the blanket.  How could she, a human, be an adequate wife to a vulcan?

“It could indeed be that the apparent weakness in my mental shields is a result of contact with you.”

Her eyes widened as they met his.

“You mean…just our touching…could cause you long-term damage?” she asked, following the thread of his thoughts.

“I do not know.  As I said, there is no research.  You and I are the first vulcan and human mates.”

She blushed and looked down at her hands.  It thrilled her to be his wife.  But discovering now that she could hurt him…

“What do we do about it?” she asked softly.

“We must first establish what is fact.”

She looked back at him.  “How?”

His response was to slide two fingers toward her across the mattress.

Her brow rose, and she placed her index and middle fingers atop his.

“It would be illogical to hypothesize without more data.”

“Don’t…let me hurt you, though,” she said.  “You don’t have to touch me if it’s going to compromise your control.”

“The possible effect you are having is minimal.  As I said, it may only be related to the chemical imbalance.”

Amanda nodded and sighed deeply, feeling her nerves relax.  The simple touch between them as they looked into each other’s eyes was the closest thing to normal she had felt since…since they last time they had been together in his bed.

That realization came as a bit of a surprise, but then again it didn’t.  Humans had a biological imperative to mate just as vulcans did, although without the consequence of death if they didn't.

“I didn’t expect touch to be so important to vulcans.”

“Due to our telepathic nature,” he explained, glancing at their joined fingertips, “this...is the greatest intimacy.”

She blushed again, and smiled.

“You are certain,” he said, “that my sensing your emotions is not an invasion of privacy?”

“I don’t mind,” she said.  “Are you…sensing them now?”

“From the moment we touched,” he said.

“What do you sense?” she asked, shifting to be more comfortable.

His brow furrowed.  “I am not sure of the correct description as I do not experience emotion.  You will have to correct me.  But I believe you are feeling anxiety, and…happiness.”

Her smile grew.  “That’s…about right.”

He lifted a brow.  “Those two emotions would seem to be incompatible.”

She laughed lightly.  “Humans are complicated.”

“Indeed.”

Sarek opened his mouth to speak and then stopped.

Amanda was feeling bolder in their interactions since that morning, but decided not to press him this time.  They had always gotten along very well with her giving him full control of their conversations.  And now that she had a better understanding of what it meant to be his wife, she was content to let that at least stay the same.

In the dim, artificial light she studied his features.  She used to do so with secret, furtive glances but now did so openly.  She looked at the way the angle of his eyebrows was symmetrical to that of his cheekbones.  She looked at his eyes and how they seemed to speak a language of their own as he stared at her.  She looked at his lips and the way his mouth naturally rested in almost a smile, unlike other vulcans who always seemed to frown.

She yawned.

Sarek raised an eyebrow again.

“Lights to five percent,” he said.

Amanda smiled fully and pushed her fingers through his until they were entwined and placed their palms together.

“This is the human way,” she said softly.

In the near dark she watched Sarek open his mouth to speak, but then stop himself a second time.

She wished she could read his mind.  And she knew now it would probably be okay to ask what he was thinking.

But...if he wanted to speak, he would.

It was enough for her in that moment that he was giving her, as he had said, the greatest intimacy.

* * *

Rather than take his usual meal from the food synthesizer, Sarek thought he would wait for Amanda to wake up and find out what she usually ate for breakfast.

They would take meals together much more frequently now that they were married, with breakfast likely being the most common.  It was logical to begin developing a new menu based on their preferences.

He had already completed the rest of his morning routine and it wasn’t until nearly the end of his meditation that he faintly heard Amanda wake up and enter the lavatory.  

Several minutes later when he heard the shower switch off he put away his meditation kit except for the tea service and began preparing a fresh cup of her favorite variety.

It occurred to him that she may not take tea in the morning as a habit, but, it was a small thing.

The door chime sounded just as he finished pouring her cup and he went to answer it.  It was slightly early for Soran to be arriving, but as he would have increased duties until Amanda had an aide the extra time would be useful for all of them.

He unlocked the door and it slid open.

It wasn’t Soran.

“Where is she!?” Roger Grayson growled.

“Roger!  You don’t even know if it’s true!” his wife Diane pleaded with him, her hands gripping his arm tightly.

Sarek’s brow rose.  It had been less than a single earth day, and word had already spread.  He expected the attention that had been drawn to them at dinner the night before had been the catalyst.

Roger Grayson was not a tall man, being only six centimeters taller than his daughter.  He had brown hair, his daughter’s blood-colored eyes, and a dense mustache.  His frame was broad and solid, and he had an imperious bearing.  His emotions were always close to the surface.

Amanda had explained once that her father’s years in the immigration office dealing with unpleasant aliens had made him naturally suspicious.  Sarek had found the latter to be true, regardless of reason.

Diane, Amanda’s mother, had blonde hair.  It was more unique on Vulcan than Amanda’s auburn hair, but the color had never struck him the way Amanda’s did.  She was the same height as her daughter with wide, expressive blue eyes that showed emotion the same way Amanda’s did.  Sarek had always found her to be intelligent and thoughtful, but slightly quicker to speak than her daughter was.

He wondered how two people with such contrasting personalities had raised a child with yet a different personality still.

“Well?” Roger said demandingly, pushing his way into the suite and forcing Sarek to step back.

“Roger!” his wife pleaded.

“I believe Amanda is dressing,” he answered Roger’s first question.

The two humans gaped at him.

“And if your statement regarding truth,” he addressed Diane, “is in reference to the marriage of your daughter and I, then I can affirm it.”

They continued to gape.

“You mean…” Diane said, breathless, “the two of you did get married.  Yesterday?”

“Affirmative,” Sarek replied.

“Why, you—!” Roger said and advanced on him, hands reaching for his throat.

Sarek effortlessly knocked his hands away and the human staggered back from the force of it, gripping one of his hurt wrists where Sarek's hand had struck.  Humans never seemed to remember that vulcans possessed great strength.

Diane pulled her husband back several paces and looked at Sarek incredulously.

“I do not wish to harm you,” Sarek said.

Roger frowned.  “I’ll have you arrested for this.”

“What will be the charge?” 

“You did something to her.  To her mind.  There’s no other explanation!”

At that moment the bedroom door slid open, and the two humans whirled around as their daughter emerged running her fingers through her slightly-damp hair.  When she saw them her eyes widened and her jaw fell slack.

“Oh.”

“Amanda—!” Roger Grayson thundered.

“Roger!” his wife interrupted.

“What did he do to you?” her father demanded, starting toward her.

“Roger, calm down!” Diane said sharply in a tone that Sarek found familiar.  

“Calm down?  After our daughter has been…brainwashed and kidnapped by this pretender?”

Amanda ran past them and hurried to Sarek’s side, where she clung to his arm.  He did not need to touch her to know she was afraid, and sad.

“It is regrettable that you learned of our marriage through others.  If you are able to master your emotions,” Sarek said, “perhaps we may assist you in separating fact from rumor.”

Amanda’s fingers dug tightly into his arm.  He thought if his arms were bare her nails could have pierced his skin.

 _“What?!”_ Roger shouted.

“Dad, stop it!”

Sarek looked down and saw tears beginning to fill her eyes.  He felt her trembling she pressed into his side and sensed her growing fear.

“We cannot address your concerns if you insist upon shouting incoherently.”

“I’ll shout if I want to, you predator!” the human said, advancing toward Sarek again.

“Roger!” Diane pleaded, pulling on her husband’s arm again.

“You are frightening your daughter,” Sarek said.

“I’ll show you what it means to be scared.  If that’s even possible for a vulcan!” Roger said.

“Dad!”

Roger Grayson brushed his wife off and started toward Sarek.

Sarek carefully maneuvered Amanda behind him, but then she gasped and rushed forward, throwing her hands out in front of her.

 _“Stop it!”_ she screamed.  “Stop it, or I’ll…I’ll have you arrested!”

“Amanda, you don’t know what you’re doing,” her father argued.  “Now back home and let me handle this!”

She ignored him and ran to the wall communicator.  “Security, come to Ambassador Sarek’s quarters immediately!”

Roger looked confused for a split second, but then turned his fury back on Sarek.  

“Good.  That will help us get this over with.”

Amanda looked between her parents, tears streaming down her cheeks.

“Mom!” she said pleadingly.

“Amanda.  Why didn’t you tell us?”

“We haven’t…  It hasn’t even been a full day!” she cried.

She turned then and ran out of the suite into the sunlit hallway.  The door slid closed before Sarek could see which direction she turned.

His brow knitted in confusion.  He had never seen her show so much emotion.  He had not even realized she was capable of it.  Where would she go, and what would she do in such a state?

He moved to follow her, but Roger Grayson strode ahead and blocked his path.

“Oh no you don’t.  I’m not finished with you.”

Sarek folded his hands in front of him and raised a single eyebrow.  “If you attempt to harm me I will defend myself.”

He continued toward the door, but Grayson stayed in front of him.

“You’re going to stay here until security can come and arrest you.”

Sarek stopped again.

“That is unlikely, however, we may reach a resolution sooner with their assistance.”

* * *

Amanda ran as quickly as she could through the hallway, ignoring the stares of the vulcans she passed as she made her way to Soran’s quarters.

When she reached his door she pushed the chime repeatedly and pounded on the door with her open palm.

“Soran!” she called.

The door slid open in seconds and she gasped as she barely missed hitting Soran in the face.

“My lady, what is wrong?” he said, his eyes narrowing.  It was the closest thing to emotion she had ever seen from him.

“My parents found out about the marriage somehow,” she said breathlessly.

“You did not inform them?”

“No.  I knew they wouldn’t like it, and I didn’t know how to tell them.  But somehow they found out.  And—” she gasped, “now my father is threatening to have Sarek arrested, and he keeps trying to hurt him.”

“Neither is likely.  Your marriage is legal and the ambassador is fully capable of defending himself against a human.”

“I know!  But I don’t want my father to get hurt either!”

“Calm yourself,” Soran said, turning back into his quarters.  “We will call security.”

“I already did.  But my father won’t listen.  Please, help us!”

Soran stared at her a moment, and then strode past her and started back for Sarek’s suite.

“Hurry!” she said, rushing past him.

“My lady, where is your logic?  Do you truly expect to return and find a scene of violence?”

“I—” she stopped and waited for him, thinking.  She knew Sarek could protect himself, and he wouldn’t intentionally do anything to her father.  “I don’t know.”

“Will an emotional reaction assist in gaining your father’s favor in the matter?”

“No,” she said, matching Soran’s brisk pace.

“Does it serve you in any way?”

“No,” she said again, trying to still the tremor in her voice.

“I can assure you, my lady, it will not serve Sarek either.”

Her eyes widened and her jaw fell slack as she realized what had just happened.  

She had done more than show emotion in front of Sarek.  She had screamed, and she had panicked.

What in the galaxy would he think of his ‘most logical of humans’ now?

The other vulcans she had run by before stared as she and Soran walked through the hall, and she avoided their eyes as they passed.  But she held her head high.  If there were repercussions with others for her actions, she would willingly accept the consequences.

They arrived back at the suite at the same moment a four-vulcan security squad was arriving and pushing through the door.

“Ambassador,” one the officers said, “what is the trouble here?”

Amanda stood on tiptoe to peer over their shoulders.  She could see her parents just in front of the officers, and Sarek a few paces beyond.  Apparently, none of the things she had been afraid of had occurred.

“The ambassador is the trouble,” her father said loudly.  “He did something to my daughter.”

“No,” Amanda said loudly, causing her father and the officers to turn.  She and Soran stepped past them and into the room and went to Sarek’s side.  As she reached him she wiped her tears on her sleeve, and then extended her index and middle fingers as she looked up into his eyes.

Sarek’s brow rose in surprise, but he immediately met the gesture.

She turned around.  “Ambassador Sarek and I were married yesterday morning,” she said, wishing the tremor would leave her voice.  “My parents do not approve of the marriage.  However,” she looked at her father, “in human culture parental approval is not required.”

The four security officers slowly exchanged glances, their only outward sign of reaction to the news of the marriage.

“Dad.  If you can have…a logical conversation, then you can stay.  But if you keep threatening Sarek then you have to go.”

The anger didn’t leave her father’s face, but she saw in his eyes that she had won.

“We’ll stay,” he answered.

“Ambassador,” Soran said, and Amanda looked over to her right where he now stood.  “With your permission, perhaps a guard should remain posted outside until Mr Grayson and his wife depart.”

She turned back to Sarek, who was looking at her for guidance.  Her entire body was shaking now from the shock and she couldn’t think of an answer.

“Agreed,” Sarek finally said, nodding to Soran.

The security force crowded back out into the hall, and the door slid shut.

“All right, you’ve shown you have numbers on your side,” her father said.  “But that isn’t going to change the facts.”

“Dad, please,” Amanda begged.

Suddenly, bright spots overtook her vision followed by a swarming black cloud.

“Amanda,” she heard Sarek’s voice somewhere above her as her sight left her entirely.  

She felt herself falling, and then strong arms caught her somewhere in the air.

* * *

Sarek had been startled by the strange sensation of Amanda fainting through their touch.  It had been enough to distract him, and so it was Soran who had caught her before she hit the ground.

He wondered again about the effect her human emotions would have on his focus and control.

Of course, he had been surrounded by strong emotions for the last several minutes.  They could be equally responsible.

“Give her to me!” Roger Grayson demanded.

Soran looked at Sarek.

An illogical, possessive desire made him want to hide Amanda away in his bedroom.  

“Here,” Sarek said, gesturing toward the closest sofa.

Soran gently set her down and Sarek sat next to her.  Her unconscious body slipped toward him and when her head hit his shoulder her eyelids fluttered open.

“What…  What happened?” she said, blinking up at him.

“You fainted.”

“What?”

“When your parents depart, I shall have Soran summon your doctor.”

Sarek also thought it would be a good idea to have a vulcan healer become familiar with her health requirements, but supposed there would be a more appropriate time to mention that.

“Oh…  I’m all right.”

“Amanda,” her father said insistently, though his tone was less harsh than it had been since his arrival.

She turned to look at her parents as they sat on the sofa opposite.

_Cold water._

Sarek stared at Soran as he communicated the desire, and after a moment his aide came to realization and moved toward the kitchen to comply.

“Mom…” Amanda said pleadingly.

“Roger, stop.  Look at her!  This is your fault!” Diane Grayson said with quiet insistence, glaring at her husband with an expression Sarek was very used to seeing on Amanda’s face.

“We should have put a stop to this years ago.  I told you he couldn’t just be interested in friendship.”

“But she’s happy.  And he can provide for her.”

“He’s older than we are!”

Sarek looked down at Amanda as he listened to her parents’ argument.  She was trembling as she pressed into his side, and her skin was pale and clammy.  

Her hair was loose and flowing around her shoulders, some of it touching his jaw whenever she leaned closer.  Her hands were fidgeting in her lap, clenching and unclenching tightly and leaving fingernail marks in her palms.

Sarek began to lift two fingers toward her, but then thought to the night before when they had fallen asleep with their fingers entwined and palms together.  She had smiled then.  She seemed to like that human gesture.

When she unclenched her hands the next time, Sarek took both of hands in his and set them on his lap, folding their fingers together.  This earned him a look of surprise from Amanda and silence from her parents.

Soran set four tall glasses of cold water on the coffee table between them.  He looked down at Sarek, who with a glance indicated he should sit as well.  And after getting the cup of tea Sarek had poured for Amanda, he joined them on the sofa.

“Is he part of this?” Roger asked, nodding towards Soran who was sipping the tea.

Sarek let go of Amanda’s right hand to pick up a glass of water and gave it to her.

She sipped from it slowly, and he drank from another.

“My aide served as witness to the wedding,” Sarek answered as he set the glass down.

Holding Amanda’s hand now he was aware of many emotions within her, most of which he couldn’t identify with his limited experience.  He would have to focus on them to do so, but this was hardly the time for that.

Also, he realized regretfully, her emotions were taxing his mental shields.  But she was afraid and needed whatever strength his nearness seemed to provide her.  It must help her to be near him, he reasoned, since she had run to him earlier upon first seeing her parents.

Ignoring her curious emotions he focused on keeping his shields strong, hopeful it would help her somehow.

“Roger, slow down,” Diane Grayson said firmly.  Finally, her husband seemed to settle into his usual state of unrest and crossed his arms as he leaned back into the sofa.

Diane sipped from the water Soran had provided for her.  “Start from the beginning.  When did you get engaged?”

Sarek felt Amanda’s eyes on him and looked down at her.  He was as at as much of a loss as she was.

“Well…” Amanda said quietly, her eyes darting back and forth across the coffee table.

Sarek closed his eyes.  He did not approve of lying, but they could _not_ explain why he had to get married.  He felt through their touch that Amanda knew this, but also felt that she didn’t have any other explanation prepared.

“There are certain expectations in vulcan society,” Soran’s voice drew his attention back, and Sarek looked over at his aide.

A single glance told Sarek that nothing would be betrayed, and he released the breath he hadn’t realized he’d been holding.

“What expectations?” Roger asked suspiciously.

“All vulcans must be married.”

“So what?  What does that have to do with my daughter?”

“The ambassador was a widower,” Soran continued, “and had an immovable deadline by which he had to remarry.”

The room was silent for a moment as the two humans tried to process the information.

“It’s that important?” Diane asked.

“Yes,” Sarek said.

“What would have happened if you hadn’t met the deadline?”

Sarek felt a slight wave of fear from Amanda.  “You would not have heard my name on earth again.”

Roger appeared skeptical, but Diane seemed to be moved.

“Why does it matter so much that vulcans be married?”

“Only vulcans may know of it,” Soran answered.  "You must accept that answer."

“Amanda isn’t vulcan,” Roger pointed out.

Sarek straightened up, which was more challenging with Amanda leaning against him.

“The death of my first wife…impacted me in ways I could not have anticipated,” Sarek said.  He felt Soran’s eyes on him as considered his words.  “I procrastinated in taking a second wife until it was simply too late.”

“How did Amanda get involved?” Diane asked.

“I was prepared to endure the consequences of my failure,” he continued.  “But Soran suggested your daughter.  Marrying her was the most logical solution.”

Roger Grayson made a sound like a growl from the back of his throat.  “So she was just an afterthought that your aide suggested?”

“No.”

Both of Amanda’s parents finally looked surprised.

“I had not planned to ask her because it seemed unfair.  Despite her abilities in logic and the way in which she embraces vulcan philosophy, she cannot change her humanity anymore than I could change my vulcanity.  I did not want to burden her with a lifestyle for which your species is not designed.”

He felt Amanda’s curiosity, and looked down at her as he continued.

“However, Soran was correct that there was no harm in asking.  Knowing her to be a logical person, I was confident that she would make a decision that honestly reflected her desire.”

A smile came into Amanda’s eyes, and he felt her finally relax through their touch.

“But you’re a vulcan.  She’s a human.  How are you going to meet her needs?”

“As your wife already mentioned,” Sarek looked at Roger, “I have ample resources to provide for her.”

“Ambassador Sarek is heir of one of the wealthiest families on Vulcan,” Soran added.

The two humans’ eyes widened, and Sarek felt Amanda’s confusion as she looked at him.  He had never told her that.

“Well, that’s fine,” Roger said, “but I meant her emotional needs.  Humans need love, and you can’t give her that, can you.”

“I cannot,” Sarek replied with a small shake of his head.

He expected to feel sadness from Amanda, but instead felt something else he didn’t understand.

She straightened up next to him and set her water glass down.

“I love Sarek for who he is.  I wouldn’t want him to go against his nature for me,” she said.

With her now empty hand she extended two fingers, and Sarek met them with his own.  He still held her other hand in the human way.

Roger looked between the two, finally speechless.

Diane sighed and leaned back against the sofa.  “I wish you had told us your plans.”

“There weren’t any plans,” Amanda said, “it all happened in about…twenty minutes yesterday.”

“You could have told us after that.  We had to read about it in the _Daily_ this morning.”

“We didn’t announce it,” Amanda said, shaking her head, “or we would have told you first.  I was…going to tell you today.”

Amanda turned to look at him, and Sarek met her gaze.

“It must have been Arsa.”

“We were observed by many humans,” Sarek replied.  “It is more likely one of them sold the story.”

“Who?” Diane asked.

“When we went to dinner last night, a vulcan woman who likes Sarek talked to us.  A lot of people saw us…um…” Amanda looked down at their fingers with a furrowed brow, “doing this.”

“Why didn’t you marry the vulcan woman?” Roger asked with a grumble.

All eyes turned to Sarek.  “It would not have occurred to me to ask her.”

“Why not?  She’s your own kind.”

Sarek lifted a single eyebrow.  “I suppose I had already subconsciously decided that I would marry Amanda, or no one.”

Amanda smiled up at him.

“Well…  Can we do anything to help you?  Do you need help moving?” Diane asked.

“I did all of that yesterday.”

“Diane, we can’t allow this.”

“Roger, it’s already done.  She loves him.  And if he were human he would love her too.”

Sarek lifted an eyebrow again, wondering at that illogical statement.

“Ambassador,” Soran interrupted, “you have a meeting with Starfleet Admiral Russo in forty-five minutes.”

“Well then, we’ll be going,” Diane said, taking another drink from her glass.

“Maybe…” Amanda said, “we can all have dinner tonight?”

Roger frowned.

“That would be nice.  We’re free after six,” Diane said.

“The ambassador is free at 1900 hours,” Soran said.

“Well…then where should we meet you?” Diane asked, standing up.

Amanda and Sarek looked at each other.  “My aide shall send you the information,” Sarek said.

“All right.  We’ll see you later,” Diane said, starting toward the door.

Roger wordlessly followed his wife, avoiding eye contact with the others in the room.

“Have a nice day.  We’re happy for you both,” Diane said with a slightly forced smile.

She ushered her husband through the door, and Sarek noticed the two security guards still posted outside just before the door slid closed.

The room was silent for several seconds after the two humans had departed.  Then Soran looked at Amanda.

“My lady, why do they say they are happy when they are not?”

Amanda furrowed her brow and blinked several times.

“Ohh…I don’t know,” she said, falling back against the sofa and blinking up at the ceiling.  “It’s a human thing.”

Sarek and Soran looked at each other, and then Sarek stood up.

“Send for a healer, and for a human doctor,” he said and then paused to look down at Amanda.  “What is the name of your physician?”

“I’m all right, Sarek.”

“It would be prudent for a healer to learn about your physiology should you need medical aide whenever we are off world.”

Amanda peered up at him in confusion.  “What?”

Sarek nodded to Soran, who stood and headed toward the door.

“My wife will also send you her schedule to coordinate with mine.  I shall ask you to arrange for our travel to Vulcan when we have chosen a convenient time.”

“Yes, Ambassador,” Soran nodded.

Sarek was about to dismiss him, but paused and stepped around the sofa to face him.  “Your contributions to the conversation were…invaluable.”

Soran inclined his head respectfully.  “It is my honor to serve.”

The room was silent again after Soran left and Sarek considered this man, unique among vulcans.  In all his life he had never worked with someone so completely logical and who espoused IDIC in all of his actions.  

“Do vulcan aides get paid?” Amanda asked.

He turned toward her.  “They receive financial compensation for the completion of their duties.”

“Can you give him a raise?”

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: I've already written about the prom. Ten years ago. Gotta revise that before publishing...
> 
> :)
> 
> Did I mention that Sarek & Amanda are my OTP?
> 
> EDIT: I just realized something...... The last chapter of this fic will spoil major plot points of "A New Beginning." So...that means I can't post chapter 3 yet. :( On the other hand, it's forced me to work on that story! So you can expect more over there soon.


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